hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
as a side note pls kill me
I am mentally ready for anal.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
