I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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