i already hear my dad disowning me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
