If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
