Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
