Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize