in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
