At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
