no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
