i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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