Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can I color on your dick again?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
