This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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