I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
