He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
