They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
