I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
