Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
