Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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