I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
