so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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