Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
