Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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