Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
