I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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