help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
