He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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