I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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