just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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