Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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