the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
