You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
