Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
