dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
