I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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