Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
