I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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