No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
