We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
