S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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