I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize