I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize