I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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