I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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