"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
