i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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