An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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