You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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