Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
