I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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