So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
