Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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