I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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