dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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