Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
