just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
