He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
