Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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