the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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