his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
