I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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