it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
