dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
