i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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