the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
