How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
